Absent Thoughts on the Ride Home

I've always gotten this odd feeling looking out the window in the LIRR. It's eerie to me, to be moving past all the stores, people, cars. They pay no mind. They go on about their lives, as if nothing is moving past. This long silver snake. Makes me want to yell sometimes. HEY! Something is happening over here! Pay attention! I bet if we were walking, you'd notice! A whole crowd of people, thoughts, conversations and ideas passing, like ghosts. Existing so fleetingly. Like we never existed in that place at all. Secluded in here. Each alone and disconnected. Sad occupation of neither space nor time. Maybe all our efforts are wasted here. We all have some degree of the desire to matter. Some even want to make a difference. But we move too quickly, pay too little attention. Even if we tried to take the time and make some impact. Everyone is either too plugged in or too afraid or real conversation to notice. We all run scared of the slightest hint of any intimate interaction. Ironically, we jump into bed with one another, which should be the most intimate form of intimacy. Yet we took all meaning and intimacy out of it. Turned it into pure physical. We are that afraid. I say it is worth taking the chance though the outcome is not always pleasant. It will help discover a little bit more about ourselves, and then maybe we will find our interactions are more meaningful. And that empty feeling we each walk around with will slowly disintegrate. By allowing ourselves to interact with real people, to truly feel real emotion, we can become human again. I have been hurt many times, but about as much as the average person. And I have not given up. I'm true to myself, although I am still discovering who 'myself' really is. As tempting as it is, I have not closed myself off. I love talking about things that really matter and jump for joy when there is someone to talk back.

And I always stop to look at a passing train, and wonder about the individuals on it.